Describe the specific situation, the observable behavior, and the impact on work, people, or timelines. Then pause for their perspective. Example: “In Monday’s planning (situation), you spoke over Carla three times (behavior), which derailed her update and delayed decisions (impact). How did you see it?” Practicing this sequence reduces blame, centers facts, and invites dialogue that can repair trust and improve future meetings.
Use precise description, name your feelings responsibly, specify a request, and outline natural consequences. Example: “When deadlines move late Friday, I feel anxious and stuck. Please flag risks by Wednesday so we can redistribute. Otherwise, we slip customer commitments.” Rehearsing this flow helps balance assertiveness and respect, making boundaries clearer without escalating tension or undermining ongoing collaboration across teams.
Separate observation from evaluation, own your feelings, articulate the underlying need, and make a clear request. Example: “In yesterday’s review, I noticed sarcasm after my estimate. I felt dismissed and need trust in my judgment. Would you ask clarifying questions instead?” Practicing this builds empathy, reduces defensiveness, and opens space for joint problem‑solving, especially in cross‑functional settings with competing pressures.